❝ Asian linguini ❞
Sarah
❝ Ted Bundy was kind of hot. Too bad he would kill me and shit. ❞
Tanner
  • Me: Today is National Masturbation Month.
  • Ralph: Good, let's get started.
  • George: Let's not and say we did.
❝ I think that’s confusing. Finnish people should be more considerate of American speakers. Are you from Finland or are you just DONE? ❞
Tanner
❝ I have handled your panties more than any other man will in your entire life. ❞
Tanner
❝ Cocks are great networking tools. Just whip it out at a party, preferably a fancy one, with shrimp cocktails and caviar, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find yourself with plenty of connections afterwards. ❞
Tanner
❝ I had my blinds open and the sun was shining in and I just thought, “yes what a perfect day to be inside”! ❞
Sarah
❝ I feel like God made me a boy because if I was a girl with boobs, I’d be jiggling them all fucking day. ❞
Tanner
❝ Yeah, it’s called Brokeback Mountain, not Bareback Mountain. ❞
Tanner
❝ Almost from the beginning of time, people have searched for magic potions and other agents to revive flagging erotic interest or to produce Olympian sexual performances. ❞
My textbook